Another Sleepless night . recently i been having sleepless nights like this. Pondering and pondering over questions floating all around in my head. abit too friendly? i think too much ? probably.. right now , i cant stop thinking. Im beginning to wonder if im really alright .

in the past usually gossips doesnt really bother me at all as i will nvr be interested in gossips. But now im beginning to like listening to gossips around me. Why? what causes the change in me. Certainly not for the better but rather i should say a turn for the worse.

Studies , nypsd , district , chanting .. lots and lots more . I find myself burying in minutes and minutes of chanting. Am i trying to avoid something ? am i really praying truthfully? i cant tell right now.

Are we really humane to do things such as having conflict? War? Violence? None of the above can give human the humane quality. to be human's human. that's the aim. and the mission to do it? only through building strong character will it be possible.

am i at my peak of what am i doing? seriously i have no idea . Seems that im running but from what ? everyday it's as though im drowning myself in chanting . Chanting itself is good but once i drown myself in chanting means im already numb. Can a numb person receive benefits?