Will you ever notice me...

i've no idea who's reading my blog now or not. Cause it's all dead by now. didnt think much into my life . didnt knew something big could be an obstacle to me. i knew it was coming but i didnt preampt it nor did i take steps to counter it. all i do was just sitting there all alone . rotting. to be precise i should have become a walking corpse by now. no idea where my life is heading into. nor do i see any path ahead of me. my mind was full of blanks now. just lost in my kind of life. i dun wanna see anyone just wanted to be alone. avoided friends , lesser talking to people . well , didnt knew all this crash on me pretty badly. though a new semester have started , it all begins with a zero. nothing was left. everyone left. graduated or should i say that im left behind. i knew it was all my fault for this to happen. laziness that kicks in . playfulness that makes me lose myself in the virtual world. what could be done. i absolutely have no idea what's gonna happen few years ahead of me. im totally void of my dreams. yes , big dreams like all have dreamt about since they jump on the bandwagon of design. years after years of struggle and thought i could have make it out but i nvr gotten off the wagon. it keeps driving aimlessly into the deep woods not knowing what lies ahead. years i have seen people jump off the bandwagon , others stayed on the bandwagon not knowing their direction and letting the wagon take control. people like me are plain lazy. didnt know what to do and didnt want to even find out or bother about it. just sit there do whatever i wish to. even right now i feel totally like a corpse typing out this message. no one knows what im feeling deep inside rite now cause even now i feel totally wreck as if something is being robbed from me. i bet you that even if i know i wouldnt bother about taking steps to correct it. though i might seem like a normal guy in public , it might not be the same when im home. it's as if im acting in front of everybody. totally disgusted by myself. feel ashamed of it. im a jerk right? i bet you will never say that in front of me. i dun smoke , drink or anything immoral that is . good guy image huh? better think twice. my behaviour sometimes even robbed me off my feelings. im beginning to feel normal being able to sleep late at nite. which i tink is perfectly fine. my body now adapts well to it feeling abit robotic i should say. guess right now my brain cant even figure out what im gonna type next. it's time for my to end this post right here and there. till than. see ya all when im back to myself again.